Undivided

On Sunday at church I was really challenged about having an undivided heart, the title was on fasting, the new testament view on fasting, is that we fast to commune with God and with expectation to see what God is going to do in our lives as we spend more time with Him.

I know that when I want to run or hide from my emotions or things that are going on around me that I will read loads to the point of hibernating from everyone. I have done this often since Charles died, it was probably a good thing that I had a job as it helped me get out of the cycle but at the weekends I would go back into it and not communicate with anyone unless they contacted me which usually didn’t happen but God was faithful, he spoke to me often during those times even through the books I was reading about fear, grief, worry and how much I was loved by Him. It was going to Canada with the team from Wales and Northern Ireland is really what started my recovery (if you would put it like that), God really spoke to my heart and reminded me how loved I was, how I was off value to Him and that he had a purpose for me and could use me to help others even in the midst of my grief, anguish and pain. God also sent Canadians to encourage and challenge me in my walk with Him, he put me with a group for people that mothered me when I needed it the most and who continue to challenge, mother me and pray for me.

I have learnt that my Heavenly Father has been beside me throughout my grief and pain, he has never left me, during the times of anger and anguish he has held me and constantly reminded me to fear not, that I was redeemed, I have called you by name and you are mine, I was loved, that he cared for me and was upholding me. So, if you are going through a difficult time whatever it may be, keep holding on to your Heavenly Father, he is there even though you may not feel that he is, He has a plan for you even though it may seem that life has fallen apart, He loves you no matter what you do or say. Let His Word pour out into your heart by listening to it or reading it. I found the Psalms especially helpful in expressing some of the emotions that I was feeling.

I didn’t set out to write about this but I hope it helps but it was great to be remind of what God has done for me and I know He can do the same for you.